The Wedding Guest

On a usual morning, a not so usual incident happened when I had to travel in my father's car on an unplanned trip and I was unaware that it was going to become even more unusual. As we were moving away from the dust, heat, and depression of the city life towards the greener fields; the fresh air was kissing my cheeks. My frizzy hair got some lift and so my mood. 

As I was entering the village, the barber's shop like an old friend smiled at me, the old banyan tree like a grandfather blessed me. And we reached our farmhouse where tenants welcomed us with a smile and some "chai and bhujiya". 

Everyone was excited to attend the wedding except me, not a surprise. Everyone was getting ready with tons of makeup on their dull faces and shiny dresses to sprinkle some sparkle on their dull life. It seems they were not wearing dresses but the dresses were wearing them. I was busy playing cricket with children of tenants. We reached the wedding venue (it wasn't a banquet hall like in the cities or someone's unused land but rather it was house of the groom) and all eyes were on us, actually on me specially, because we were the "shehri babu". Looks like they were interested in sports as one could see witch- hunting everywhere. What was I interested in ? Uhh food because chance of finding a good conversation there are less than chance of finding an empty seat in Delhi Metro. Eat only as much as you are hungry and leave the rest; smile continuously and pose for pictures when you are "the wedding guest". There were a lot of sweets compared to spicy chaat and snacks of city weddings.

 There were a lot of events like witch- hunting, guess the background, can you look candid?,formality smile, match-fixing and my favorite staring competition.Men were busy planning in which car they would go in barat, which vulgar songs they would play all the way,who would do the naggin dance,how they would tease the groom on the stage, which not so appropriate gifts they would give to couple on the stage ( by the way ever wondered why they sit like that,some kind of pradarshani going on; people should respect their love and privacy not everything is for display. And if they want to show so much then tickets should be sold for it, then atleast bride will earn something) and last and also the least how many bottles of alcohol and how much chicken would be sufficient for this so called sacred event. You could see women tryin to look younger and small girls try to look older. Many girls were dressed as hypergirls with a hunger for consumption and some girls were dressed as boys with an equal hunger for consumption. It was fun witnessing these games with some besan ladoos.

 In evening everyone was excited for DJ dance. The loud music was painful for the ears and the lyrics were painful for heart. Money was thrown in the air and so was logic. With the thumping feets, the dust cloud rose and so rose the excitement in eyes of men. Old men were wearing white dhoti, kurta and turban over their black hearts. I watched for a while and then went to swing with children on a nearby swing. The only beings not on dance cum dust floor were two old grannies, eight children, six buffaloes, "the wedding guest" and the groom himself. 

Then it was time for ghudchadi and barat The non-living objects of that ecosystem had more life than the living ones. And people were excited to go in barat stuffed in cars. Obviously people outnumbered cars and bottles which often leads to some guest saying " hamari to puch hi nhi hui". But i didn't go with them in barat. As there was still time for dusk so I went to meet family of the man who accompanied us on our journey. And coincidentally they had four beri trees. After that I talked a lot with them and presented my views on a lot of topics. The old man in the house looked lonely and was very absorbed in the conversation with me. His old wife was also alive but they stayed in separate rooms and i guess also separate hearts.There was a rose plant in their garden and the rose were more pink than red. Their scent reminded me of my childhood when we too had a pink rose plant. They also grew vegetables in the garden but soil was devoid of water. After eating some berries and advising the old lady not to be too stingy towards her daughter-in-law and grandchildren on behalf of complaint of her son, I strolled towards my farmhouse with some berries in my pockets greeting people on the way.

 It was almost sunset when I reached farmhouse, everyone looked tired. There I found my mother, tenant lady with her two children,two neighborhood women and one small boy from neighborhood. The boy was around 6-7 years old and he instantly caught my eye. We all were sitting in verandah under the starry night. While the husband of tenant lady was making tea for all. It was a rather mysterious night. The boiling of tea, the fragrance of soil, the fragrance coming from crops in the fields.The atmosphere allowed "the wedding guest" to be lost in the world of thoughts,a magical world in which you can forget that there are people around you, forget their gossips and forget that how small you are in this vast universe.You become one with the universe. The ladies were gossiping among themselves when the little boy started talking with me. 

He was rather shy and spoke slowly in an innocent, lovely voice full of curiosity. Listening to his mother earlier I knew that he was changing his school because his family couldn't afford an expensive school. He told me about his current school," there is a boy in my class, his father is big police officer." "He always show off", we both said together. I asked if he feels jealous that his friend has so much money, he changed topic and told about a girl in his class who is the usual topper. I again asked if he is jealous of her and he told that she cheats and her friend helps in this.He then looked down and said that," once teacher was out of class so I also got chance of cheating (then he looked in my eyes), I was tempted a bit but I didn't cheat. Earlier in the day his father told me he came first in class in final exams. He asked how many classes are there in total and what people do after that? Surprisingly he expressed his concern ( with such an innocence) that what would happen if didn't get first position in new school. I laughed and then told him that he shouldn't be scared as a person can not always come first, he should rather focus on reading as much books as he can and observe the surroundings to understand himself and the world. He should not loose his innocence, truthfulness and the desire for inquiry which is what most people loose. Don't let world decide the definition of success for you. I Knew that he wouldn't understand completely what I am saying but he was listening with all his attention and sincerity that made me fall in love with him. Mostly children of this age are very naughty, stubborn, almost always talking silly things and asking for phone all the time to play digital games. And here I met with a boy who talked more calmly and with more attention than a adult. Who thought deeply before answering and was very observant. It reminded me how every child is born with such a sensitivity and desire for inquiry and joy but slowly becomes insensitive. The age varies from person to person. And people call this 'becoming insensitive' as 'being practical and gaining maturity'. As an adult they find themselves in a job that they don't know why they are doing, performing duties in their relationships with family that most often fails on scale of logic, shallow friendships and loveless love with no clear purpose of life. I asked him what he wants to do in life and he said "may be a police officer".

It was almost 11:00 so I went to drop him at his house where I met his father. There when I again asked the same question then he said that he would write group D exam. When we asked why, he said because his father gave it and failed in it so he will clear it. His father said that " that is because I am just 12th pass" but you will have many options. The boy took a pause, looked down and asked his father adorably"where would the money come from for the new school? " . His father said" that is my problem not yours." And the boy looked at us adorably not understanding how his father's problem is not his problem. I had to return because we were going back home, it was almost midnight. I gave him some money as a belated birthday gift which he was hesitant to take at first. Said goodbye and sat in car. 

But I couldn't sleep, whole way I was thinking one line " where would money come from for my new school?" I cried and then fell asleep. Never imagined a not so serious wedding day would turn out like this. How this lack of money would affect him and shape his mind in future? Will the world take his curiosity from him? Or his definition of goodness? 

Generally, when we look around, we see a lot of insensitivity. In our daily lives we see masks.We see people playing roles. You will rarely see an individual. Is that just because of social construct? A child is born with a love for inquiry.That is true nature. But there is also a tendency to fall for what is told by body, society and coincidence.If you have read my previous blogs you would know what I am talking about. So as a child grows the real innocence and sensitivity dies (with some exceptions). By adulthood it is almost dead. Because he thinks that all he wants is available outside of him (in the world) and the door for inside closes.

 As has been rightly said by sant Kabir: सुमिरन सुरति लगाय के, मुख ते कछू न बोल। बाहर के पट देय के, अंतर के पट खोल॥